OMG I have been so lazy! Well, ya gotta cut me some slack. It's summertime after all, and I've gotten so wrapped up in relaxing on the tranquil beaches of Charleston, SC, seeing family and friends, watching movies, and cooking potfuls of delicious fattening food which my health-conscious grandmother eats second helpings of and soon after regrets. So yeah, I been busy. That explains my slang. Please excuse me.
But even though I'm lazy and have other stuff to do, nothing will please me more than to sit down at the computer and write my (46th, I think?) next restaurant review for my dear readers. As long as I've been here in SC, I've been to a delicious handful of restaurants, and now I am about to review my clear favorite.
OK, so step into my shoes for a minute. You've just been dragged along by your mother and grandmother to Target to buy a bike, which you really don't want. After that agonizing trip, including the unfair store policies about not being able to ride the bikes in the store (how else will you see if they "fit" you?), you have to be bored to death in Bed, Bath, and Beyond while your grown companions look for slipcovers. After all that, what would you do if you were hungry and there was nothing to eat at home? GO OUT TO EAT, of course! But not to a chain like Arby's.
I had long dreamed of going to the Glass Onion, a delicious restaurant featured on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives (sometimes I don't know why I watch that show; all it really shows is Guy Fieti eating and packing on pounds; sorry Guy, but it's the truth!). Anyhow, I got permission from my mother and grandmother to go to the Glass Onion for lunch. I was excited all morning, and after we had finished one more errand, we all hopped in the car and drove down to the restaurant. The sign outside said: THE GLASS ONION and under that it said: SOULFUL FOOD. I didn't completely know it then, but I was going to get one soul-warmer of a meal.
We three trooped into the place, slightly damp from the downpour outside. (Our umbrella had a few holes, and we all had tried to get at least a part of our bodies under it. We didn't succeed as far as legs, arms, and hands were concerned.) It was a nice feeling to step into a dry, welcoming, cozy place, and we were greeted warmly by the lady at the counter, to whom we would give our order. After pondering for a bit, we decided that all three of us were going to get four side dishes instead of an appetizer and an entree. I chose stewed okra with tomatoes, collard greens, cornbread, and grits. My grandmother got the same, and so did my mother, but instead of grits she got roasted corn on the cob. We were led to a table by a very charming waiter.We sipped our drinks and munched on a few Saltines while we waited, and it was all very pleasant.
Our food came shortly afterwards, and after looking in admiration at our gorgeous plates, we all got down to business. Each of my four sides, except the cornbread, came in a separate bowl. This prevented them from running together on the plate, which I do not like. The greens were probably the best collards I had ever eaten. They were silky and tender and had a delicious tangy yet sweet flavor. The grits were truly amazing, with their ultra-creaminess and toothsome yet tender texture. The okra and tomatoes were totally addictive; I cleaned that bowl in no time. They had a delicious flavor, and the tomatoes were in generous chunks, not a barely chunky puree like some of them can be. The cornbread was just a big chunk of good ole Southern cornbread. It stuck to tradition by being unsweetened (Not like the stuff the Yankees eat. You could serve them sticky-sweet muffins for dessert. That "cornbread" is like yellow cake.), and was dense, rich, and full of subtle corn flavor. When I saw the nice slather of local wildflower honey on the side, I was all set.
Now, I must tell your about Mother's corn. OMG! It was the best corn on the cob I had ever had! I always thought that just plain boiled corn tasted best (although I had never tried any other way), but when I took a gnaw out of Mom's cob, I felt my digestive system do a happy dance. The corn was roasted, and slathered with a delicious aioli. Then it was coated with shredded Parmesan (or Manchego? I don't recall), and served. It was as lip-smackingly delicious as really good BBQ-ed ribs; I can still taste that corn in my mouth.
You know me. I've said this a trillion times. But I felt slightly empty, even after we had finished our meals. There was a little empty section in my tummy still yearning for something. And what was that? You know. Scream it out for the world to hear (don't humiliate yourself, though). DESSERT! I was completely thrilled when I glanced up at the menu and saw a delicious selection of homemade desserts written in curlicue handwriting on a chalkboard. I quickly pondered, then made my decision. I had debated between their "World Famous" bread pudding and the blackberry cobbler. I wanted the best of both worlds, so I chose the cobbler to eat there and the bread pudding to take home. The waiter left to heat up the cobbler, and we three waited eagerly.
The cobbler came out in a large ramekin, hot, with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. I immediately gobbled up the ice cream in two large gulps, then, with the help of Grandma and Mom, got to work on the cobbler. The crust was deliciously flaky and had a wonderful crunchy exterior, as though turbinado sugar had been generously sprinkled on top. The blackberry filling was delightfully tart with just a bit of sweetness, and I enjoyed every last bit. The price was very reasonable, and we three left with full bellies and blissful smiles on our faces.
Whatever your taste or food need, if you ever find yourself hungry and craving some good down-home Southern food in or near Charleston, I highly encourage you to stop by the Glass Onion. You'll be won over by the amazing food, friendly service, and cozy ambiance. That's as much as I can pack into this blog post, but stay tuned for another one quite soon. Ciao for now.
